Marriage ‘good for one year’
Can “real love” last? Or is it commitment that maintains relationships?
Marriage ‘good for one year’
From: By John Elliott and Roger Dobson (news.com.au)
February 13, 2006
WE talk about the ups and downs of married life: now scientists have provided the evidence to identify just when you can expect those peaks and troughs.
The study confirms newly-wedded bliss – usually before the arrival of children – is the happiest time.
But the report highlights the way in which almost all marriages lose their magic as feelings of happiness slip back to the levels before the couple met.
Romantics will take comfort in the finding that, on average, every successful marriage benefits from a strong honeymoon effect, lasting approximately a year. Only those destined for divorce will experience a fall in happiness in the first year of married life.
Thereafter even couples set to stay together for the long haul should expect a sharp decline for two years, with only a mild recovery between years three and five before the slide begins again. After 10 years happiness, levels are slightly lower than before marriage.
But overall marriage does make people happier. A married couple can look forward to up to 40 years of satisfaction greater than if they were single. Only by the age of 60 do single people begin to feel as happy as couples.
Although people with sunnier outlooks may be more likely to find someone to marry and bond with, this does not explain the phenomenon. “There seems to be some intrinsic value to marriage which creates a positive effect,” said Alois Stutzer, co-author of the report.
The research, to be published in The Journal of Socio-Economics by Dr Stutzer and Bruno Frey, of the University of Zurich, studied 15,000 people in Germany between 1984 and 2000.
Paula Hall, a senior counsellor with relationship guidance organisation Relate, said that in the first year of marriage couples were likely to have relatively high levels of disposable income, without the need to care for offspring or elderly parents.
However, cracks soon start to develop. A woman’s sex drive often dwindles within two years of marriage, said Ms Hall, leading to confusion for the wife and frustration for the husband.
“Men feel cheated, saying ‘You trapped me with your high sex drive, and now you want to watch Coronation Street. Also, people see the downside of what were plus points. That strong personality type becomes an arrogant bastard, that laid-back attitude seems simply lazy.”
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